New Mom Battles and the Lying Voices

It’s day 3 and my milk has still not come in and I’m just starting to get full. When I pump I get only a few drops on my nipples and I remember with Aletheia, I had to work very very hard to breastfeed her as well.

In the first week, I cried when I had to give her formula and agreed with the lying thoughts that told me I was a failure of a mom because I couldn’t even produce enough milk for my child. I cried and felt inadequate, and really did not want to give her formula. It didn’t help that on the first day I came back from the hospital and Aletheia was crying the entire day, my confinement nanny arrived and whisked her away and tried comforting her by saying, “don’t worry I’m here now, sorry your mummy was starving you”. I was so crushed.

When Zoe started showing cues of still being hungry after I nursed her and realizing that when I pump, I got nothing, I realized this time I was very happy to give her the bottle. She needed it, I didn’t have it YET, and it was OKAY! I felt so happy that she had enough to eat while I worked on getting my milk flow going.

Mummies if you are going through a hard time with breastfeeding, I just felt compelled to let you know it’s really OKAY to give your babies formula when they need it. You are doing your best your body can and I know you are trying and doing your best for your baby. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. To those voices that try to convince you that you are a lousy inadequate mother because you give your babies formula, we say, “you are a liar”. How can anyone want what’s best and love your child more than you do? You are doing everything in your knowledge and strength to love and care for your child the best you can. Or for that matter, anything or anyone else that might have differing opinions on parenting and feeding and sleeping than you and let you know it albeit mostly with good intentions.

I’ve come to accept the wise council through a loving and open yet discerning heart and ears after having Aletheia for 3.5 years now. In the first few months especially I would either swing from feeling offended to feeling condemned when I received unsolicited advice on how I should look after my baby and myself but I’m thankful that today I feel so much peace and can smile and thank everyone for their kind advice knowing that they just have the best intentions for me, whether it aligns with what I’ve come to believe or want to practice. And I’m hoping that by my sharing of these thoughts today – that maybe if you are fighting off those same offensive and condemning thoughts I had to battle in early motherhood which came on so strongly, that they would be silenced.

You just had a baby! You HAVE a baby! You ARE a MOTHER! WOW. Trust your heart and the love you have for your child mama – you’ve got this! 🙏🏻🙌

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