Pregnant and Unmarried

10 years ago, we found out that we were pregnant. Mark was not even 21 and I had just turned 23.

I was a financial advisor and he was finishing up his national service. We were NOT married.

It was probably March or April that we found out. We were happy and told our parents we wanted to get married and our wedding was set for the 19th of June.

And then, a scan showed that the baby was deformed. It was a one in a million kind of deformity. Our baby had No skull. The brain was formed but floating out of its head. We were going to name (him we thought), Orion.

We were crushed and there was no other option except to abort. And by this I mean the baby would be born dead.

We knew we wanted to be together and so we got married anyways.

Tonight Mark reminded me that 10 years ago, had it not been because of Orion – we probably would not have gotten married. He would have gone off to New York to finish his studies and at that vulnerable and immature state of our relationship, we would definitely not have been able to maintain a long distance relationship.

Had it not been for Orion, his parents would definitely not have been supportive of us getting married so young, and he would probably not have thought of committing himself that young as well.

If we had Orion, I would have had to stay in Singapore probably, continue working as a financial advisor while Mark finished his studies in NYU. Our life and marriage at that age would have been on the rocks and not have lasted.

The old me at that time, without Jesus, and the old Mark, without Jesus – we would not have made it.

But God…



Whatever the enemy meant for harm –

He turned it out for our good.

In 3 Months, we would be 10 years married and expecting Zoe at the same time. We have been so happily married it’s hard to believe that we both could not hold long term relationships before we met each other.

And then there’s Aletheia … who has brought us so much joy and love and taught us so so much.

Oh how it’s so hard to see the bigger picture when we are going through the valleys not knowing that those very valleys lead us to our mountains.

My friends I don’t know what you have been through but I know that God is able to turn things around for your good. He is able to do for us – exceedingly, abundantly, above all we can ask for or even imagine.

Whatever you are going through right now, know that God loves you and had a plan and purpose for you. Jesus said he would never leave you or forsake you.

I love how he said that in this world, we would face trouble and hard times but that he has given us his peace and has overcome the world.

He loves you so much and wants to give you hope – a kind of hope that would not disappoint you. A life in Jesus, with Jesus and through Jesus.

“God put his love on the line”.

Praying these passages come alive for you as they have for me.

He loves you with an everlasting love.

The “I will die for you” kind of love.

“There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn’t, and doesn’t, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn’t been so weak, we wouldn’t have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice.

But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:3-8‬ ‭MSG‬‬

“In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.””

‭‭John‬ ‭16:23-24, 27, 33‬ ‭NIV‬‬,27,33.niv

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