Today I was just thinking about how I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that the reason why I was getting so stressed up all the time around 830pm to the point where I would get all tensed and edgy and need to put stress away oil to calm down is because of the law of 830pm bedtime I had created for myself and Aletheia.
And because of this LAW, I would be so inflexible and rush her into bed and whenever she wanted to delay or play around and not conform to what needed to be done (brush teeth, eat her dinner properly, shower etc), every delay in defiance would add on to my meter of stress and the levels would build up slowly till 830pm as I watched the clock tick away and my veins would start throbbing and ticking too.
As much as it was important for her to get to sleep at the same time everyday as dad as possible, I was creating a time and stress bomb for myself and her.
Something that was intended for her good and my good, (the law) brought out every kind of stress and evil in me when I felt like I had to strictly follow it, forgetting that our well being and health and relationship was why the “830 bedtime” was set up to begin with.
The past 2 days as that truth has entered my heart and mind, I allowed Grace to enter her bedtime law. She fell asleep eventually (past 830pm , but to be fair to her she used to wake up earlier and she has been waking up later so actually I shouldn’t be expecting her to still be sleepy at the same time), but we had peace, no struggles but more snuggles. I read her 3 books instead of saying only 1 because “no more time” and I’m realizing how stressful it is to hear me say the whole day that there’s no more time for this or that or that we are going to be late for school etc. she must be wondering what this elusive “time “ is, and why it is always running out so fast.
Which brought me really to this frame of mind today. ANYTHING and Everything that we make a LAW eventually condemns us and stresses us up because we will never be able to fulfill it 100% or the time. When we manage to pull it off, we feel proud of ourselves, sometimes even prideful (self-righteous) and when we fail, we feel condemned and stressed like we didn’t measure up. This can be exercise, diets, parenting, everything!
What are we making Laws in our own lives today that we need to give grace to?