Today as I read Joel 2:18 ” then the lord was jealous for his land and took pity in his people ” , and the word JEALOUS captured me.
The past week I realized I was getting what I thought was jealous, that since he came back Aletheia wanted only daddy for the first few days . I felt hurt and rejected and even though I knew she was a child and she has not seen her dad for 6 weeks, I still felt very sad.
I tried to suppress this emotion because the word Jealous has always seemed to have quite a negative connotation to it. In school , a girl gossips about you because she is “jealous” of you. A boy whom she likes, likes you and she is “jealous”. In work, someone gets promoted over you and you are labeled “jealous”. So I was so surprised and puzzled when I read that God was JEALOUS!
God is a jealous God and I’ve heard that many times before. I never really sought to understand why. I’ve heard in songs that “he is jealous for me ” but what did that really mean?
I googled (but of course!) the strong’s concordance Greek meaning and it was like an AHA moment for me. In the way he sees it and almost like how I felt, to the degree he is jealous is the degree of how much you mean to him and how much he is FOR you.
“To burn with zeal, to be deeply committed to something with the implication of accompanying desire – to be earnest, to set ones heart on, to be completely intent upon”
And as soon as I read that, I felt loved that God was Jealous over me. Somehow, I caught a glimpse of how much we hurt him when we reject and refuse his love when he has so deeply committed to loving us, when he has earnestly set his heart ON and upon us with full intention.
The thoughts that went through my mind was how I’ve never felt so rejected by someone that I had put so much of myself and love into in the past 2 years. Even though I knew she didn’t mean it, she is a toddler, it still broke my heart.
When she said she didn’t want me to tie her hair, change her diaper, brush her teeth, etc etc and it all had to be daddy, it really hurt me. The human nature in me wanted to just also reject her and not try to care so much about her since she was rejecting me – and all this while I felt him whispering that this was where Grace and love had to take over and this was what it looked like – still standing by and loving on even when you weren’t being “loved” back.
While we were still sinners, still rejecting Jesus, he DIED for us. While the world rejected God, he sacrificed literally a part of himself, his son, for the world for he SO loved. The more I think about that in relation to what I have gone through with Aletheia, the more I come to see that the gospel is so Crazy!!!! This crazy love !!!!
God how do I love like that?
“For we love because he first loved us”
Thank you for being Jealous for Me