I was strolling down my facebook history’s memory lane when it took me to 2009. I was reading the posts and for moment there I was wondering – WHO posted this because I didn’t even remember writing that. It’s like THAT IS SO NOT ME, I can’t imagine myself writing something like that right now – I was seriously shocked! For a minute (because I didn’t see the 2009 part yet) if my facebook got punked or hacked.
And now it’s dawning upon me – how much of a NEW CREATION I have become and HOW MUCH GOD HAS DONE in my life. He didn’t just repair or restore me… I AM BRAND NEW. Back in 2009 I had not yet encountered the love of God. I was probably still quite excitable and bubbly but at the same time very overly sensitive, easily offended, extremely judgmental and quite mean to people who I didn’t feel DESERVED my respect or love or time.
I am SO WRECKED right now, just thinking of how different a person I am and how much love I have for people. And the absolute truth is, in and of myself, I have and had NO GOOD THING (psalm 16:2). I only loved those that loved me but what good is there in that? Even the worst types of human beings in history have loved those who love them but have done so much evil.(luke 6:32) As Jesus says, love those who hate you, bless those who persecute you (matthew 5:44) – But if we do not REMAIN IN HIS LOVE, we can do nothing. We can’t love when we don’t have MR LOVE in our hearts and his name is Jesus. We can’t give what we don’t have.
When I look back my past though, there isn’t regret or shame or guilt – BUT DEEP DEEP GRATITUDE. That as HORRIBLE a person that I was, He loved me still. How is it that when I didn’t deserve it, didn’t work for it, didn’t even ask or look for it, that HE DIED FOR MY SINS, that he went onto that cross to BE SIN when he had NO SIN so that Sin would not have a hold over me.
THIS IS GRACE.
THIS IS LOVE.