I stopped going to church for good when I was 19. I sought to know the supernatural/ believed there was more to life and the future and I’ve been to palm readers, tarot card reading, 8 birth date Chinese reading, crystal stone elements readings before. Around that time, I had a bad breakup and started to smoke cause it made me feel better. Before Mark, I dated all the wrong men that just were not good for me. God in his grace and mercy brought Mark into my life.
We found out that I was pregnant and we were really excited to have the baby, but 2 months before our wedding we found out that the baby was deformed and the baby’s skull wasn’t forming right so the brain was out of the head. It was sad for us, but we really wanted to get married anyways, so we did and I moved to NY with him to complete his degree.
While we were there I was quite the party girl, and my do-everything-together-partner was Dawn Yang. I for one, not her ( she has one glass at most usually!), loved to get high and got drunk pretty often, coming home in the wee hours of the night/morning. Mark had school so he wouldn’t join me and he never got mad at me.
In the last few months we were here, I got a call that my uncle had cancer and it was 3rd stage, cancer of the Liver and there was no cure for it. I was devastated, as I loved my uncle so much. I flew back to Singapore immediately and started visiting him at the hospice everyday.
|My Uncle on the far right, carrying on one of our outings.
|My Uncle in the Hospice, and the pictures on the wall which we found pasted on his cupboard at his house.
( Pictures of me, my sister and my cousins. )
At that time, Dawn had moved back to Singapore too and a friend had brought her to this cell group like place called ” Tuesday Group“. She told me about how the people there would do things like go on treasure hunts and ask God whom he wanted to bless and who was he treasure. They would get clues from God, like ‘spectacles’, ‘Starbucks’, ‘red-t shirt’, ‘asthma’ and when they went to Starbucks they would find a guy wearing a red t shirt and spectacles who had asthma, and they would tell him that he was Gods treasure and pray for him. I was skeptical but curious anyways, and never knew that God or Christianity was anything supernatural. I only knew that it was laws and rules that I couldn’t measure up to or keep.
That one Tuesday afternoon, Dawn had asked me if I wanted to go check out this “Tuesday Group” with her, and I decided I might just check it out. Before making it to this gathering, I had a coffee session with a friend and I was telling her, how I felt so unappreciated by my uncle as he was grumpy and didn’t want to eat and spoke to me harshly when I asked him to eat something. I felt unappreciated because I had visited him everyday for 3 months and I would also cry at the thought of him dying every other day. I was emotionally and physically drained. I had also believed a lie from this guy that tried to sell me crystals that I lacked ‘favour” and appreciation. He said that nobody would appreciate what I do no matter what I do, because I lacked this “gold element” and I had to buy a yellow citrine stone to wear to make up for it.
When I went to Tuesday Group, at the end of the session a bunch of people gathered around and prayed for each other. They decided they would pray for me because I was new. One guy asked me if I made jewellery, because he saw a vision of gemstones on Priest’s garment, and he said God said I was precious. That surprised me… how did he know? Another guy prayed for me… and he said, ” God knows that relationships are very important to you, and he knows that you feel unappreciated. He wants you to know that he appreciates you, and he loves you so much, and you’re like his princess and he appreciates every single thing that you do for people”.
While he was praying for me, I was crying uncontrollably. I had encountered the love of God, and God was suddenly very real to me. The craziest thing for me was that these bunch of young people did not charge me any money, and were not mediums or tarot card readers or palm readers, and yet they could tell me exactly what was on my heart and the exact words I had said that very afternoon! That was it for me. I was hungry to know who God really was, and how I could hear his voice!
Since then, I’ve been on a journey and in a relationship with Jesus. Almost 4 years ago I miraculously quit smoking overnight when I told God that when I got on the plane to Melbourne for the Planet Shakers Conference, that I didn’t want to smoke anymore. Just hours before getting on the plane, I was smoking away nervously, very afraid that I would not be able to quit as I had so courageously declared to everyone at Tuesday Group. However, the minute I got on and off the plane, I just didn’t have the urge to smoke anymore! It was a miracle! I have always tried to quit smoking on my own, many times and it always ended up with me throwing a pack of cigarettes away, only to run to the nearest store the next day to buy another pack because I simply could not control my urge to smoke.
I started attending New Creation Churchas I realized the message of grace was the true gospel and I had been so bound up by legalism and religion, which was what drove me away. I was so happy and excited I wanted to buy all of pastor prince’s sermons to bring home to listen, and I went home and told Mark about it. He then told me to go look in the cupboard because he had almost 50 cds of Pastor Prince’s sermons that he bought when he was 17 before he went to study overseas. Apparently he gave his life to Jesus at New Creation Church years ago, and I never knew! God in his mercy and Grace, brought me and Mark, both his children who had gone astray, back into his arms and to be married to each other even before we both really knew Jesus.
There have been so many amazing things that God has done in my life. I hardly even drink alcohol anymore not because I condemn it, but because I get my high and happiness on Jesus. I used to love gambling too – just 5 years ago, Mark and I spent 2 weeks in Vegas at the casinos and I loved it.
Now, I get my excitement and thrills from Jesus. Everything that I thought I had to stop on my own before Jesus loved me, I stopped naturally and unknowingly because I knew Jesus loved me despite of my sin and that his righteousness makes me righteous and I am a new creation because of him.
What more can I say? My life has been completely restored, my relationship with my mother whom I wanted to disown at one point, has been completely healed as well. My sister whom I could not stand in the past is now my best friend and partner in Hadasity. Both my mom and my sister are loved on by Jesus now and have changed so drastically as well. My relationships even with my childhood enemies have been restored and they are now my good friends. I love my sister in law so much now when our relationship in the past was filled with animosity. I know that I am deeply loved by Jesus, SO highly favoured by God and Men, and I don’t need a yellow crystal because I have JESUS!
If I was not pregnant, Mark and I would not have gotten married so young. If the baby was not deformed, I would have continued working as a financial advisor in Singapore and Mark would have been off to finish up his studies in NY and we would have been married, but apart.
If I did not go to NY, I wouldn’t have started Hadasity. I wouldn’t have met Dawn. I wouldn’t have come to also know how meaningless life is without Jesus and how getting high on alcohol and gambling and smoking could never replace the high and happiness that you can get from Jesus.
If I did not meet Dawn, I wouldn’t have gone to Tuesday Group and New Creation Church, and would have never known how good God is and how real and true the Jesus was… I would have never known that Grace is a person and that his name is Jesus.
And we know that all thing work together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose ( Romans 8:28) , and we can only love him, because he first loved us. ( 1 John 4:19 ).
Thank you Jesus, for what you did to me.